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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?